


Vanity

by aretia



Series: Pulchritudinous [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Exes, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Other, Past Beelzebub/Gabriel, Ze/Zir Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 10:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19867924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretia/pseuds/aretia
Summary: Beelzebub gets dressed up to go to the surface and kickstart the apocalypse, and to face an age-old angelic enemy.





	Vanity

Contrary to what that Earth-native Crowley would lead people to believe, most demons didn’t use their powers lightly. Drawing on their magic while away from its source in Hell took effort, and constantly keeping their true faces hidden from mortals was _exhausting_. That was why, instead of putting on an illusion for zir upcoming trip to the surface, Beelzebub sat in front of zir makeup mirror, painstakingly applying cakey foundation to cover up the rotting boils on zir face.

After what felt like hours, Beelzebub set down the makeup brush, and admired zir artistry in the mirror. With striking blue eyes shining out of a pale, flawless face, ze looked almost angelic.

Beelzebub had been one of the lowest ranking angels before the rebellion. Ze had only risen to power after ze had Fallen, and now ze was a Lord of Hell, tasked with making sure that the Apocalypse was happening right on schedule. Heaven would undoubtedly send their own top brass to do the same thing, and that meant that no torture in Hell could compare to what Beelzebub was about to face: a meeting with the Archangel Gabriel. 

Gabriel. Beelzebub hadn’t seen Gabriel’s face in over six thousand years, and ze would greatly prefer to keep it that way. His name tasted like poison in zir mouth, made even more vile by the memory of how his lips tasted against zirs. 

Before the Fall, Beelzebub and Gabriel had been in love. When ze would sit in his lap, wrapped in the warmth of his wings, and gaze out at the horizon while he recounted his feats of creation, being with him made zir feel holy. But at their worst times, Gabriel had left zir wondering how an angel could be so cruel. 

Gabriel had kept their relationship a secret, claiming that it would ruin his reputation if he, an Archangel, got caught kissing a mere commoner. Beelzebub had protested that their love deserved to be displayed out in the open, but Gabriel always fed zir platitudes, saying that the social hierarchy of angels was part of God’s great plan, and other such nonsense. That was why ze had rebelled, anyway. If such a pure thing as love could be tainted by such a shallow thing as vanity, then what was the point in believing in any of it? Ze would much rather burn the whole hypocritical institution to the ground.

But for that to happen, Hell had to win the war. And for the war to happen, the world had to end. And for _that_ to happen, Beelzebub had to suck it up and go to the surface and face down Gabriel.

Beelzebub popped the collar of zir light pink shirt and wrapped a black tie around zir neck, pinning it in place with a garish medal festooned with red and blue ribbons. Ze affixed two crown-shaped pins to zir lapels, and draped a red sash over zir shoulder. The Queen Fly hummed on top of the dressing table, and Beelzebub lifted her up and placed her on top of zir head, where she settled comfortably into the tangled nest of zir hair. With the emblems befitting a Lord of Hell on zir body like armor, ze was ready for battle. Ze would rise to the surface and show Gabriel that ze was stronger than he had ever been.

**Author's Note:**

> my debut in the good omens fandom and it's... this. hope you enjoy some ineffable bureaucracy!
> 
> please leave a comment if you'd like to see more of this!


End file.
